Frank’s Sightline Story

Frank’s
Sightline Story

I have been a Sightline Volunteer since January 2022. I heard a radio interview on Radio Lancashire and the people being interviewed said they needed volunteers and being a retired therapist used to talking to people, I thought it would be something I could do.

Claire, who lives near Wrexham, is of a similar age to me. She is blind, but on some days can see shapes. She lives alone since her husband died some years ago. Her daughter, who lives a short drive away, visits on a regular basis. She also has a son who lives quite a distance away and can only visit on occasions. She has various health & mobility issues and has recently had a few falls which have shaken her up quite badly.

Paul, lives in Blackpool, is 5 years younger than me and is totally blind (since birth). He has been married twice with both wives having passed away and he has no family. He has previously had 4 guide dogs which gave him independence and the confidence to go out. Unfortunately, he has been told he can no longer have a dog due to his medical condition.

My calls with Paul can be difficult at times as it soon became obvious to me that he has dementia.

He used to live alone, but several months after our relationship began, Social Services moved him into a home for his own safety. He seems to have many issues and has overwhelming feelings of isolation and loneliness which can sometimes be difficult to hear. I try to take heart that I am providing Paul with some much-needed friendship and support, albeit from a distance.

Claire enjoys our chats which usually last over an hour. We discuss what’s going on in the world and what we’ve both been doing in the week since the last call and what we’ve both got coming up in the next week. Claire has a good sense of humour and we do laugh a lot. I really enjoy our calls and try my best to cheer her up if she is having a bad time with her health issues.

Paul seems to enjoy our calls, but because of his dementia our conversations go in a recurring circle. Although he’s lived in the home for several months now, his opening phrase every time is “I’ve moved” and then gives me a guided tour of his flat which I feel I know my way around as well as he does!

It’s difficult to have a meaningful conversation with him, but we have found music a good basis for positive discussions. As we are both musicians (he plays the organ), I try my best to get the conversation around to music. This seems to lighten his mood for a short period of time. Getting Peter to play me a tune on his organ would be a highlight of my befriending time so far.

I do believe Paul gets some benefit from my calls. I’ve tried to help him by suggesting ways to help his situation, but he forgets our conversations as soon as I hang up. I think my therapy background gives me the patience needed with him and although it is frustrating at times, he tells me that I’m the only one he can talk to.

I feel that Sightline offers a much-needed telephone befriending service. I can only imagine the negative effect that would be felt by the people who access these calls should this service ever be stopped.